This evening ushered in one of the tumultuous periods of my life, both good and bad. Suzanne and I spend many, many days together and many apart. We broke up (or rather I broke up) and we got back together repeatedly. We were one of those couples whose "together" status changed more often than the weather and people would routinely roll their eyes when I would give them the currently vague state of our relationship.
I have had many dark periods in my life over the last 7 years. My parents passing away and my aunt's instigated a prolonged battle with clinical depression that I have only recently really emerged from.
During this dark period I did Suzy a real injustice. I really beat her up emotionally. Any woman in her right might wouldn't just not ever talk to me but would probably hire a bunch of bouncers to beat the crap outta me. Suzy would be totally justified in doing that, because I deserved it.
But Suzy didn't do that: She tried to help me to see that I was broken, she guided me to treatment and to a better life and then she just patiently waited for me to emerge.
Somehow she saw qualities in me that I didn't even see and knew that they needed to be coaxed out. She loved/loves me for my faults as well as my qualities and at long last I can see her for all the good and bad and appreciate the sum of the parts that are so much greater than the whole.
After three years of trying to help me, she was beginning to think that she was wasting her time and began to let go and move on.
So, now 3-4 months later I finally see what a wonderful woman this was sitting right next to me and despite an 11th hour effort, I almost lost her. That will never happen again. Never will I let her forget how she saved me and how much I appreciate that.
It's time for her to reap the rewards for her selfless devotion and patience.
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